Smelly Cat!

So, I got Morris back from his other mom yesterday.  When she dropped him off she warned me he was "gassy."  This is not an uncommon occurrence.  When Morris is afflicted with flatulence it is a humorous situation for many reasons.

I am pretty sure Morris is the only cat who has audible farts.  I personally think his farts make noise because he has a sizeable posterior and this creates enough fiction for noise to occur.

Because of a previous injury the nerves around his tail are damaged so he can't tell when he farts (sometimes he'll drop a little turd unbeknownst to him).  Yesterday his farts were quite noxious and caused stinging noses and watery eyes. 

The funny part was Morris was upset by the smell of his own farts and would move away from sitting by the dog, thinking the dog was the source of the smell.  Then he sat by my boyfriend, farted again, and thought the smell was from my boyfriend so he moved again. 

Eventually Morris realized he was the cause of the smell through the process of elimination.  He could not feel himself fart because of the nerve damage and did not want to believe he could stink so bad.  I guess he didn't know his bum was making the fart noises either.  He is such a quirky little guy.  How can you not love this face?

All this made me think of was Phoebe singing "Smelly Cat" on Friends.

Crazy Cat

Morris, as you have probably already noticed, is a very peculiar cat.  He meows without making any noise, he will sit in my lap for hours, he eats vegetables, he likes fake hands, he comes when called, he thumps on his toy mice.  Now, he has become paranoid.  That is right, he is terrified that his brain will be fried by the lasers sent to earth by the aliens. 

This is what he has done to protect himself:

Ok, this is what happens when I am at work and my boyfriend has too much freetime on his hands...

Fake Hands

Halloween is the favorite holiday of one of my boyfriend’s kids.  They got a set of fake hands the last Halloween and the biggest fan of the hands is Morris.  He will sit in her lap for an hour as she scratches his head and pets him with the fake hands.  The funny part is he knows there is something wrong about the hands and chews on them when they are put in front of his face.  To get an idea, here is a little video:

Attack Cat

My boy cat, Morris, was a stray and must have had little cat guidance. I had to save him from the streets and he lost most of his tail so he could live, but that is another story. I just want to point out how silly my Morris is.

At my house I have about twenty little toy mice for my cats to play with. They often end up under the couch or hidden under the cushions. Sometimes they are even pushed up into the toe of my boots, Ugg boots to be specific, giving me a little scare.

Morris has a very unique way of playing with his toy mice. It is not normal cat behavior, but almost everything Morris does is peculiar. Morris will pick up the toy mouse in his mouth or with his paws, fling it into the air. All this is normal, this is where he gets notable.

Where the mouse lands, Morris pounces, flopping on top of the mouse with his sizable belly. I think his plan is to suffocate the poor rodent. Then he will start thumping the toy mouse, as it still lies squished between the floor and his heavy belly, with one of his back feet. He thumps so hard with his foot, pressing his ears back, and a look of intensity in his round eyes, it makes a pounding noise. After he is through with the thumping he often runs away, fleetingly, leaving the mouse to die alone.

Though he is unconventional, I am pretty sure a real living mouse would not survive his attack. The suffocation from his belly alone would be enough to smother the furry animal, but his thumping is quite aggressive and I am sure it would concuss the mouse to death. Here is a video example of his attack, it is quite a laughable display. I love this cat!  Oh, and yes that is "Ra Ra Rasputin" playing in the background.