Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Ducks are evil

In response to my wonderful but misguided sister Bethany, Ducks are EVIL! Don't get one. Remember that geese are evil and closely related to ducks which are evil. Remember a duck beat me up and took my lunch when I was three. I will never get over that. So even if they are really cute please don't bring that kind of evil home.

The Gym!!

I went to the gym tonight and whenever I go to the gym it is an awkward experience.  I always feel like 1) people are judging me 2) people think I am judging them or 3) guys think I am staring at them.

I am extremely self conscious right now because I go really slow on the elliptical and hardly lift any weight, I had knee surgery about 3 months ago.  I know I am probably overeacting. When I workout I zone out and just kind of stare into space so I think people think I am staring at them.  This also contributes to why guys think I stare at them and I hate talking to people at the gym so it is bad when I see them heading my way I immediately abandon my equipment and RUN!  RUN AWAY FAST!!!

Am I the Only One

Am I the only who somehow manages to get my shirt wet every time I wash dishes? It doesn't matter which sink I wash them in or how hard I try to keep the water in the sink, my shirt ends up wet. And I don't mean just a little bit wet. I mean kind of soaked from a few inches above my belly button to a few inches below. I'm going to have to assume there is a major flaw in my dish washing technique!

Better than Humans

The older I get the stronger my dislike of people gets. When I say this I mean people in general, the cruelty, selfishness, disregard, rudeness, carelessness, recklessness, etc. of humans. Because of this my like of animals has grown.

I have two pets, both are cats, and find they are always there when I need them. Out of practicality the number of pets I have has not grown. If I wasn’t choosing to be practical my house would be a haven for animals, cats, dogs, fish, birds, turtles, tortoises, hamsters, hedgehogs, etc.

Right now I am fighting the urge to order a duck or six at a website that sells all sorts of birds,

I want a cute, fluffy, yellow duck with a pink rounded beak and honest, trusting eyes. I saw a baby duck in a movie and the trust of the tiny bird held in rough human hands, the way it walked behind its owner when set down, and its innocence made me yearn for a duck of my own.  (The movie is "Hey, Hey It's Esther Blueberger!, on Netflix, www.Netflix.com)

I have no idea how to care for a fuzzy, yellow, duck, what they eat, how big they get, if they can be outside animals in the cold and snow, do they thrive as pets, what their living quarters should be, and will cats try to eat a baby duck. If only I had enough money to set up a small zoo where I could keep all the animals I want.  I guess I would also need to not work so much so I had the time to have a small zoo and then my obsessions would be satisfied.   I wish I had bought a zoo  http://www.dartmoorzoo.org/ 

Image: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=989

Monday, January 30, 2012

Crash Test Dummies

Last night I attended aerial fabric class, think Cirque du soliel. My teacher Jill is amazing! She sees new tricks on YouTube and then learns them. Then she tries to teach us. She's the perfect aerialist, all tiny and strong. Everything she does and tries looks incredible. So, sometimes she says things like "Just make sure you keep your knee bent the whole time." It's foolproof! So we try it, I guess we're not fools, and we totally crash into the pit! Last night we were dropping like flies! It was actually funny and of course nobody got hurt. I told her we're like your own personal crash test dummies!

SAG Fashion 2012

My attention span was not long enough to watch all of the Screen Actors Guild Awards, but I saw enough to pick my choice for best dressed.  It may not be the most popular choice but I choose Zoe Saldana who was wearing Givenchy Haute Couture.  Somehow the dress comes off as high fashion and casual at the same time.  She looks great without being tied and taped in.  In a close second place was Emma Stone in Alexander McQueen.  Does Ms. Stone do anything wrong?


The Charming's BIO (aka special K awesome) 

I put the kill in skill!! Bam, I like moving and jumping and flipping. Flying through the air.  That is what I love to do.  I am currently trying to get into a graduate school for speech pathology (fingers crossed). Yep, that is me "running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on make up when I'm up there." -Eddie Izzard

Attack Cat

My boy cat, Morris, was a stray and must have had little cat guidance. I had to save him from the streets and he lost most of his tail so he could live, but that is another story. I just want to point out how silly my Morris is.

At my house I have about twenty little toy mice for my cats to play with. They often end up under the couch or hidden under the cushions. Sometimes they are even pushed up into the toe of my boots, Ugg boots to be specific, giving me a little scare.

Morris has a very unique way of playing with his toy mice. It is not normal cat behavior, but almost everything Morris does is peculiar. Morris will pick up the toy mouse in his mouth or with his paws, fling it into the air. All this is normal, this is where he gets notable.

Where the mouse lands, Morris pounces, flopping on top of the mouse with his sizable belly. I think his plan is to suffocate the poor rodent. Then he will start thumping the toy mouse, as it still lies squished between the floor and his heavy belly, with one of his back feet. He thumps so hard with his foot, pressing his ears back, and a look of intensity in his round eyes, it makes a pounding noise. After he is through with the thumping he often runs away, fleetingly, leaving the mouse to die alone.

Though he is unconventional, I am pretty sure a real living mouse would not survive his attack. The suffocation from his belly alone would be enough to smother the furry animal, but his thumping is quite aggressive and I am sure it would concuss the mouse to death. Here is a video example of his attack, it is quite a laughable display. I love this cat!  Oh, and yes that is "Ra Ra Rasputin" playing in the background.

Are you a Computer?

I'm sure you've all run into the "Are you a computer question?" on Internet applications for e-mail accounts and social networking sites. Most of the time they don't bother me but every once in a while, I run into one that appears to be impossible. The letters are so squiggly and wiggling they’re hardly identifiable and they don't form an actual word. I see a time when computers will be so good at recognizing even terribly mutilated letters that the image presented will be unrecognizable for both humans and machines. At that point, no one will get new accounts.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Brittany Charming's Bio

I'm a nerd. I like math, science, computers, video games, fantasy and science fiction. I was the nerd all the other nerds in my high school wanted to date. I'm not the nerdiest nerd but I am a nerd all the same. Back in college, on a Saturday night you were more likely to find me at home playing Warcraft III, then at a party. Nowadays, I consider a good party one where everyone brings their computer and we play Battlefield into the wee hours of the morning. During my tenure as a nerd, I have played Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: the Gathering and many nerdy games you probably haven't heard of. When it comes to nerdy subjects, I might not be an expert but I do have an opinion.